ONE VERY ANGRY BEHAVIOUR. PISSED.
if you are not interested, dont you read this. pardon me for my paragraph, grammar, punctuation and english even if you cant understand what im saying. i dont understand myself either.
indeed, i am in no position to compare myself to yo. who the hell am i to even put myself beside him. i am like this dot to him. ive lost everything just by comparing virtual. weeks of refreshing, i know i have to get out of the selfish and self denial me. the feeling had been constipated inside me and holding it any longer made me felt even smaller. truly, i am aware of the impossible with tak, yet picturing me with tak sooths quite a bit. like the effects of drugs. its temporally, but i did feel nice. looking over the glass window, what i saw is men and women in cars; bliss. if the rejection letter came with the mention of yo, i surrender. i will raise the white flag. even my basic instint cant drive me to the direction of having a twitch with tak. i know. at least its good. im happy. reminded of the river valley days, i felt like a small baby, i am still i suppose. even the silly wonton mee joke of one ton of me still put a smile on me, now. ability to hold is one, having one person to love is another. all these had been with me for years, but it just burns stronger for the past week. every factor is telling me to break down. its ups and downs yes. its part of growing up, yes. i hate failing, yes. i hate losing out, yes. i had all my hates. fine. wasnt even looking for anything that night. all i want was to take a look and spot on. i dont even know whats all the comparing about. im sure i am better in some ways. i cant be that complete loser. its all blending up in me. i stomached all the angers and tears and im still glad. im glad its still inside me. i still have glitches when i see the name. with all the drama, what when on for the last week didnt help. at some point of time, it f.king piss me off. what time is it? i mean, f u lah moron. f.king hate this idiot with the number of 96930154. i dont even know this person and the irresponsible act the childishness totally twist my sunday into a big pile of dirt. cb. and you know i never say that. but yes, u sucked. yesterday i had a thought. what if i have no friends. no one to go out with on weekends. no one to talk to, no one to share my sorrows. out of a sudden, i felt as though ive lost all my friends. everyone's left me. im pretty much all alone in my room. i hate it. i hate to be neglected. probably everything started off from the car ride. arrr. f.king hate myself for all this shit. when you are a floating agent, you're practically nobody; me. all this drama is making me sick. so bloody sick..
if you are not interested, dont you read this. pardon me for my paragraph, grammar, punctuation and english even if you cant understand what im saying. i dont understand myself either.
indeed, i am in no position to compare myself to yo. who the hell am i to even put myself beside him. i am like this dot to him. ive lost everything just by comparing virtual. weeks of refreshing, i know i have to get out of the selfish and self denial me. the feeling had been constipated inside me and holding it any longer made me felt even smaller. truly, i am aware of the impossible with tak, yet picturing me with tak sooths quite a bit. like the effects of drugs. its temporally, but i did feel nice. looking over the glass window, what i saw is men and women in cars; bliss. if the rejection letter came with the mention of yo, i surrender. i will raise the white flag. even my basic instint cant drive me to the direction of having a twitch with tak. i know. at least its good. im happy. reminded of the river valley days, i felt like a small baby, i am still i suppose. even the silly wonton mee joke of one ton of me still put a smile on me, now. ability to hold is one, having one person to love is another. all these had been with me for years, but it just burns stronger for the past week. every factor is telling me to break down. its ups and downs yes. its part of growing up, yes. i hate failing, yes. i hate losing out, yes. i had all my hates. fine. wasnt even looking for anything that night. all i want was to take a look and spot on. i dont even know whats all the comparing about. im sure i am better in some ways. i cant be that complete loser. its all blending up in me. i stomached all the angers and tears and im still glad. im glad its still inside me. i still have glitches when i see the name. with all the drama, what when on for the last week didnt help. at some point of time, it f.king piss me off. what time is it? i mean, f u lah moron. f.king hate this idiot with the number of 96930154. i dont even know this person and the irresponsible act the childishness totally twist my sunday into a big pile of dirt. cb. and you know i never say that. but yes, u sucked. yesterday i had a thought. what if i have no friends. no one to go out with on weekends. no one to talk to, no one to share my sorrows. out of a sudden, i felt as though ive lost all my friends. everyone's left me. im pretty much all alone in my room. i hate it. i hate to be neglected. probably everything started off from the car ride. arrr. f.king hate myself for all this shit. when you are a floating agent, you're practically nobody; me. all this drama is making me sick. so bloody sick..
2 comments:
i hope u re feeling better now.. :<...
i am, thanks love =P
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